Is there any chance a narcissist can actually love you and change for you?
This is a heartbreaking question because I can feel the pain behind this question. I’ve been there.
You have to understand that a narcissist version of love is not what others believe is love. Narcissistic love is purely about securing supply meaning it’s self-serving and conditional. It’s about them, not the two of you as a couple.
They can say they love you and feel like they mean it, but if they were to be truthful about what love is to them and what it consists of, truthful being the keyword, it’s not the same definition you would give.
If I could sum up the narcissist’s version of love, I would say it’s superficial, transactional, immature, and selfish. They just don’t have the capacity to offer anyone a healthy version of love.
I believe anyone can change, but the problem when dealing with a narcissist is they generally don’t find a problem with themselves to begin with so changing is nearly impossible. While is possible, the real question is are they willing? And will it be consistent and long-lasting or only for a short time to quiet you…