Typically, when reading books on this topic, the manipulations, agendas, and cunning plans to ‘use for supply’ seem quite sophisticated. Not all Narcissistic people have a high level of intelligence, and vulnerable ones tend to also lack the social skills required for such devious ‘plots’. So my question is, do all narcissists ‘plan’ to break you down from the start, or are they just blindly following their own personality flaws? I guess I’m struggling to believe they all wish to destroy, when deep down they really just want to be loved.

While vulnerable narcissists may not seem to have the social skills of a grandiose narcissist, they actually cycle between both vulnerable and grandiose and are the most manipulative. This is why their targets are usually more damaged and experience greater dissociation because of their confusion. They often will think they may be the narcissist themselves and have a hard time healing and disconnecting from the narcissist.

Some are following their flawed personality and just really don’t care whether you are hurting or not, it’s irrelevant to them unless their caring will benefit them. However, others enjoy inflicting pain and destroying others. They get off on it. It gives them supply and makes them feel powerful and superior. 

I don’t believe ALL narcissists set out to destroy people, at least not on purpose, they just simply don’t care about you outside of supply. But most of the people in this community are being abused. Their love is being exploited and staying in an unhealthy relationship with someone who can NEVER offer you true love and really doesn’t care how you feel is going to be damaging. 

Narcissists exploit your love to get what they want. They look at people as objects to manipulate and they know when you love them, you will give, give, give until you can’t anymore while they take, take, take until you stop giving. They really wouldn’t care about love if it didn’t come with the benefit of supply and this is most evident at the end of the relationship and after. 

It’s better to accept that they just look at the world through an entirely different lens than you do.