The biggest problem is narcissists are enabled. We have to stop enabling them and start holding them accountable. Many narcissistic behaviors that are destructive are rewarded in relationships and society. Beyond that, until their world doesn’t work for them anymore, they will most likely not see a reason to change. If one person doesn’t enable them, another usually does.
Remember that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to change or see a problem with their behaviors in the first place. They typically blame others as the problem because they are causing the narcissist problems. Cause and effect in relation to their behaviors and traits is very distorted.
But where is the information on how to literally help the Narcissist? I need help desperately and I have very limited resources. I’ve been in therapy and it isn’t helping. I’m dealing with depression, anxiety, and fear. I need real help.
Narcissists need to have the desire within themselves to seek help. If they are pressured into therapy, it’s likely it won’t work anyway. Narcissists often choose partners that play this role, the role of wanting to help them. The problem is, it’s unusually enabling their narcissism and not the help they need for their disorder.
They need a long-term professional who is trained in narcissism and cluster b personality who can provide the right treatment. Again, if someone is not trained, they are likely to be manipulated by the narcissist.
Amanda, it sounds like this is taking a toll on you. If therapy is not helping, I would personally consider looking into more therapists. Asking them if they understand cluster b personalities and if they understand how the abuse affects interpersonal relationships. Many are not trained here, they may know the DSM definition and criteria (which is limited) and their approach can actually re-traumatize victims. You need someone who understands what you are going through and how to help.
I hope this was helpful 🙏💜