I just don’t know what was real. It felt real. What is good about narcs? Surely nobody can be this bad and cruel? 

Narcissist  can be successful at their careers, charming, generious, charismatic, goal-oriented, funny and just really easy to like. Time with them can honestly be amazing, unless you are their targeted victim for their psychological and emotional abuse. This is why so many suffer in silence, feeling crazy and like they are the problem, because outsiders don’t see the abuse, they only see how the victim is reacting to the abuse which can look crazy, dulisional, emotionally unstable and even abusive themselves. People just can’t wrap their head around how the same person they see is good can be abusive and cruel, but they are. 

Narcissist are skillful at manipulation. Their lies are often sprinkled with truth so that you question yourself and they are more believable. They mirror what we want to see, creating the perfect illusion. Many people will not let go of that illusion even after they see the mask falls off and they are abusive. They may be shocked but they still hold onto that good guy/girl because that was the love of their life, that was who they feel in love with, that was their soul mate that they prayed for and it was hope that love for them still exsists. 

What some narcissist are just selfish and neglectful while they are focused on themselves, others enjoy inflicting pain onto their victims. They get pleasure out of it. 

We often want to see the good in people and believe they are looking through the same lenses as us, but I believe it’s better to accept they are looking through and entirely different lenses, therefor, they do not function like us, they do not think like us and they do not love like us. They see black and white, they see win or lose.