I’m in the middle of a divorce and my soon to be ex is trying to abuse me. He is even using the children to hurt me. He is dangerous and now telling me he needs me. I need to know how I can divorce him without any risk?
It’s is common for narcissists and other cluster b personality disorders to use their children to abuse their ex by proxy, along with the court system.
I’m sorry to say there is no way to leave an abuser without any risks.
But, preparation is going to make it much easier. Some things you will really need to consider are, a very detailed parenting plan with communication only through a parenting app like our family wizard (this will cut down on most of the BS and can easily be used in court), pubic meet up (sometimes this is the police station if there is domestic abuse), If you need to file a restraining order to protect you in the kids do IT, this will help you greatly in court and be sure to put his behaviors, don’t talk about narcissism but the behaviors.
Do a lot of healing work and meditation, this will help you grow your confidence and it will show. Narcissists can sense your weakness but fear your power and healing. Negotiation can really help if you have a strategy so you need a good lawyer or willingness to learn it for yourself.
Also, make sure you can take your children to therapy and yourself. Some narcissists hate the children going to therapy because they will eventually be found out, but you need this in the parenting agreement. Have a support group of family, friends, coach, therapist, victim group that you can get support because it gets harder before it gets easier.
Also, there are domestic violence advocates online and in many local areas that can help you with lawyers, filing court documents, housing, jobs, etc.
I hope this helps a little, stay strong and I can’t stress enough to work on your healing and empowering yourself. It will help greatly in your fight to protect you and your children.
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