I’ve learned a lot about narcissism and abuse and I’m planning to leave a narcissist I am in a relationship with now. The relationship is so toxic and I’ve lost myself. How do narcissists feel with you dump or leave them instead of them making that call?
It would depend.
You leaving can trigger their fear of abandonment and they could go into a rageful fit or start love bombing you to get you to stay. This is likely if you are their main source of supply and they do not have someone groomed to take your place.
You may even see them with a new partner that is not their “normal” type. This is because they fear being alone and had to find someone quickly. Relationships provide a lot of narcissistic supply and it can feel like they are dying if they are not in one. This new partner is probably temporary and will likely be replaced very soon.
I’ve heard others just disappear and you never hear from them again. In this situation, it’s like you were not their main supply and they feel you can not serve them any longer.
Some narcs simply do not want to lose, they will feel they have lost control and it might look bad in the public eye if you leave or initiate the split and could go into a rage even if they have another supply or several.