How can you disconnect emotionally from the toxic person? I continue to get upset by their actions.

This one is going to take some work but completely possible as long as you stay focused on yourself and not the narcissist.

1. Accept reality. We often like to believe they will change, but they have proved time and time again they will not. Accepting reality can help us move forward.

Example: I wish he would change so we could get married. Reality: I’ve caught him lying, manipulating, cheating over and over. He is abusive. This is not someone that I should marry.

2. No contact – Complete no contact means they are not able to have a personal conversation with you, not able to see your social media, contact you through others, email you, or text you. Be sure you block them on social media and give them ZERO attention. If you have children with the narcissist, do extreme modified contact, and only discuss issues about the children. Keep the communication short and professional-like. 

3. Triggers – understand and start healing your triggers. Pay attention to when they are happening, what thoughts you are having, and what you need to tell yourself or change for the next time you are triggered by the same person, place, thing. 

Also keeping a journal for your moods and triggers is a great idea and can help you work through them.

4. Practice mediation, becoming more conscious. Because of the obsessive overthinking, many of us go through, I would try to meditate several times a day, even if it’s just for 5 minutes at a time. This can really be calming and you can increase the time you spend.

5. Selfcare – taking care of your body, mind, and soul is much needed and probably has been neglected for some time now. Along with meditation, find time to relax, enjoy yourself, spend time with healthy and positive individuals, eat healthy, get your rest and do the things you love that you stopped doing during the relationship.

It can be hard and uncomfortable to take care of yourself in this way at first, but the more you do it, the more emotionally disconnected you can become from your narcissist as you heal.

Please leave a comment below with your suggestions or questions about emotionally disconnecting from a toxic partner.